we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
