im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
