i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
