I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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