lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Everyone says I win the strip club
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
