worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
