i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
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Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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