My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
