belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
