i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
