And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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