you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
