remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
