Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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