K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
