I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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