I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
