So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize