I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
