So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize