it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I have already put on my inside pants.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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