i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Randomize
