Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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