Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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