We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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