Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
