porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
