So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
