Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
