I looked at my own cervix.
Welp...herpes.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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