the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize