Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You smell like a Billy Joel song
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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