Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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