How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
