Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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