Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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