Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
