Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
