The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize