I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
