You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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