worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
