Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
