can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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