some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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