I puked a lego.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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