How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Your dad touched me again.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
my liver is dry heaving
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
