can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
