My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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