my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
