It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
