Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.

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(810): View more from Michigan

just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.

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(719): View more from Colorado

I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(775): View more from Nevada

They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.

(1-775): View more from Nevada

I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.

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(509): View more from Washington

No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.

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(602): View more from Arizona

Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.

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(801): View more from Utah

Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.

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