I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.