Texts From Last Night

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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.

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  (865): I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it. http://tfl.nu/q5jx
  Replies (38) Good night (863) Bad night (13849)
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  (559): View more from California

  I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?

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  (559): I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day? http://tfl.nu/b9nt
  Replies (182) Good night (21416) Bad night (2810)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga

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  (712): I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga http://tfl.nu/ngoq
  Replies (10) Good night (4687) Bad night (1398)
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  (516): View more from New York

  He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?

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  (516): He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono (973): How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you? http://tfl.nu/fl5a
  Replies (41) Good night (1599) Bad night (4877)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.

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  (504): Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come. http://tfl.nu/6ryd
  Replies (75) Good night (5369) Bad night (634)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job

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  (413): I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job http://tfl.nu/ruqn
  Replies (13) Good night (3884) Bad night (979)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.

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  (413): i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur. http://tfl.nu/9vxg
  Replies (11) Good night (5791) Bad night (1208)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.

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  (281): I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car. http://tfl.nu/4osg
  Replies (8) Good night (541) Bad night (1600)
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  (510): View more from California

  Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.

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  (510): Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior. http://tfl.nu/2r56
  Replies (6) Good night (1420) Bad night (570)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words

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  (802): Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words http://tfl.nu/ilbf
  Replies (0) Good night (965) Bad night (819)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...

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  (206): The cab driver is now flexing at a red light... http://tfl.nu/j986
  Replies (3) Good night (756) Bad night (522)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party

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  (319): So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party http://tfl.nu/6iyv
  Replies (7) Good night (1179) Bad night (488)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building

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  (586): Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building http://tfl.nu/p9dh
  Replies (4) Good night (1153) Bad night (473)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.

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  (443): The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts. http://tfl.nu/2k5o
  Replies (1) Good night (411) Bad night (846)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.

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  (615): Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of. http://tfl.nu/7ejc
  Replies (2) Good night (282) Bad night (566)

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