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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  she is a standing ovation.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)

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  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.

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• (714): View more from California

  Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.

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  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.

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• (985): View more from Louisiana

  I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary

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• (229): View more from Georgia

  Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.

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• (650): View more from California

  I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.

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