saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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