sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
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I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
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Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf