dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
