I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
