did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
