This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
