R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
